So, after a week of sitting around the county fair with the FD here is what I learned:
1. Never eat from a food stand located next to a barn with a sign that says: Goat Meat Pavilion.
2. People who attend Monster Truck Events are deaf. And stupid. Say what?
3. There are some really, really, really fat motherfuckers in America.
4. If you feel dizzy, and think you are gonna puke after eating 6 corn dogs, 3 elephant ears and a deep fried Oreo before ridding the Zipper 7 times in row...... you DON'T FUCKING NEED EMS! You just need to puke.
5. In the good ol' US of A, you can deep fry ANY FUCKING THING and put it on a stick. Someone will buy it, and eat it. Yummmmmm.
6. The question: " which one is the ladder truck" asked while standing in front of a fully extended 110 foot ladder on Tower 731 (e.g. a fucking ladder truck), indicates you are:
a.) an idiot.
b.) a likely McCain voter.
7. "Mom and Baby Day" at the fair is a target rich environment for MILF lovers. Yeah buddy.
8. The transit departments offer of a "free tour" of a ride on bus, is another great screening tool for morons. I shit you not, these guys were offering "tours" of a bus. My tax dollars at work.
9. Just because I'm old and have a Fire Department uniform on does not make me a "Chief". So please don't call me one when I'm in line for the mens room, though I did appreciate the offer of cuts.
10. Did I mention how many really fat fuckers we have shuffling around in this country?
1. Never eat from a food stand located next to a barn with a sign that says: Goat Meat Pavilion.
2. People who attend Monster Truck Events are deaf. And stupid. Say what?
3. There are some really, really, really fat motherfuckers in America.
4. If you feel dizzy, and think you are gonna puke after eating 6 corn dogs, 3 elephant ears and a deep fried Oreo before ridding the Zipper 7 times in row...... you DON'T FUCKING NEED EMS! You just need to puke.
5. In the good ol' US of A, you can deep fry ANY FUCKING THING and put it on a stick. Someone will buy it, and eat it. Yummmmmm.
6. The question: " which one is the ladder truck" asked while standing in front of a fully extended 110 foot ladder on Tower 731 (e.g. a fucking ladder truck), indicates you are:
a.) an idiot.
b.) a likely McCain voter.
7. "Mom and Baby Day" at the fair is a target rich environment for MILF lovers. Yeah buddy.
8. The transit departments offer of a "free tour" of a ride on bus, is another great screening tool for morons. I shit you not, these guys were offering "tours" of a bus. My tax dollars at work.
9. Just because I'm old and have a Fire Department uniform on does not make me a "Chief". So please don't call me one when I'm in line for the mens room, though I did appreciate the offer of cuts.
10. Did I mention how many really fat fuckers we have shuffling around in this country?
1 comment:
This was a great post, ever wonder why I refuse to work the fair, duh. Although gotta say, the pit beef that one of the church groups was selling was very good as was the shaved ice stand, a lost art in MoCo.
Post a Comment