The Lonesome Death Of Marvin Schur

Perhaps you've read by now about the 93 year old man that froze to death in his home in Bay City Michigan because he owed $1,100 to the electric company, and they shut off his power. The mans name was Marvin Schur.He was an American. The last time I checked, Bay City was in the United Sates of America. And an old man froze to death in his home. In his home in the United States. Would offering free heat to poor old demented citizens be too close to socialism? After all , our tax money is apparently better spent with bankers and wall street crooks who spend it redecorating.
The next time I hear some slime bag with a fifty dollar haircut prattle on about how this country is a 'Christian nation", I'm going to think of Marvin Schur. I would never claim to know what Jesus would think or do, but somehow I don't think he'd be OK with letting old people freeze.

Slumdogs On Mars

We saw Slumdog Millionaire a few weeks ago, and I'm glad to see the Oscar chat for it. I think the larger point is that we live in a gated community called the first world, surrounded by 'slumdogs'. I sponsor a young man in Haiti who is 18 and in the third grade. Until recently he never owned nor slept in a bed. The news reports speak of people eating 'mud cakes' in the cities and God alone knows what in the country side. Haiti is in our hemisphere, one could say it's right in our backyard; yet for the attention we pay, Haiti may as well be on Mars. I have a wood carving I bought years ago in New Orleans of a 'Voodoo Christ". It was carved by a poor Haitian monk, and stands on my night table offering a silent rebuke to me each morning on behalf of the hungry:

"My people My people, how have I offended you?"

I suspect I am being called to do more than send a few bucks or buy a kid a bed. I suspect we all are being called to do more for those with the least. And I suspect we had better hurry, because the truth about 'slumdogs' is that sooner or later.... they bite.

Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Fighting Cancer......

From The Interwebs

Masturbation may be good for you – or bad, depending on your age. The solitary sexual activity that is widely practised but little discussed, is linked with an increased risk of prostate cancer when practised frequently by young men in their twenties and thirties, doctors say.

But by the time men reach their fifties, it may protect against the disease because it helps remove toxins that have built up over a lifetime.

Prostate cancer is known to be driven by the male hormone testosterone, and men with high levels of testosterone tend to have a higher sex drive and a higher risk of the cancer.

But most research has examined older men because prostate cancer is unusual under 50. Researchers at the University of Nottingham studied the link between sexual activity in younger men and the disease to see if it affected their long-term risk. More than 400 men with prostate cancer diagnosed before the age of 60 were questioned about their sexual habits over the preceding decades and the results compared with 400 controls.

The findings showed that those who had been most sexually active in their twenties – having sexual intercourse or masturbating more than 20 times a month – were more likely to have the cancer. Frequent masturbation, but not sexual intercourse, in the twenties and thirties was significantly linked with the later development of prostate cancer.

In their 50s men who were most sexually active (more than 10 times a month for sexual intercourse and masturbation combined) enjoyed a small protective effect. The effect was greater when masturbation was assessed on its ow

Hey Shitheel! John Wants To See You.....

From AP

The House Judiciary Committee chairman subpoenaed former White House adviser Karl Rove on Monday to testify about the Bush administration's firing of U.S. attorneys and prosecution of a former Democratic governor.

The subpoena by Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., continues a long-running legal battle with ex-President George W. Bush's former White House political director. Rove previously refused to appear before the panel, contending that former presidential advisers cannot be compelled to testify before Congress.

The subpoena commanded Rove to appear for a deposition on Feb. 2 on the firings of U.S. attorneys for political reasons. Conyers also demanded testimony on whether politics played a role in the prosecution of former Alabama Gov. Don Siegelman, a Democrat.

Bush upheld Rove's legal position, but Conyers said times have changed.

What's So Funny About Peace Love and Understanding

Lemme see here... He's been on the job less time than it takes most of us to figure out where the copy machine is, and he already started closing Gitmo, appointed a real envoy to the Mid east, is removing the insane ban on stem cells, and the list goes on. Not bad work so far President "O" 

Still, John Boner Boy and his fellow travelers want to act like anybody gives a happy shit what they want and think. I give President Obama  ( I love the sound of that...) credit for trying to be bipartisan, but the time is rapidly approaching to just tell these people to shut the fuck up. As Mr Obama pointed out to some of them yesterday: "I won". The current version of the Republican party is bereft of ideas, credibility, and honor. Taking economic advice from any of these guys is akin to asking for a Superbowl game plan from the Detroit Lions. So to Rush, and Ann, and John and Mitch... and the rest of that greasy gang of dingbats and fuckwads:elections matter. You lost. Deal with it, and if you want to get serious there is a good looking young black fellow in the White House who will take your call.  Until then? Piss off.

Glory Road

All day long the busses came. They came and came and came. Dropping off thousands upon uncounted thousands.  All these busses filled with black folks, white folks, American folks. Some of these men and women came here  long ago. Forty six years ago they came to this town. To this mall, this strip of dirt and grass and dreams. They came then to hear the good doctor call for justice to ring down from the mountains. They came today to hear justice delivered. Delivered and ringing along the marble facades and beaming millions lining this place. Justice arrived today in this town. Somewhere tonight Ms Parks remembers her journey, somewhere Dr. King is laughing with joy, somewhere even angels ride the bus. 

Ars Longa, Bush Brevis

24 hours to go. One more day. And then ... the nightmare that has been the George W. Bush administration comes to its end in shame and ignominy. Bush and his grisly gang of thugs may escape the bar of justice, but at least we can take some small comfort in sensing histories harsh verdict: these men were a criminal conspiracy more than a government. Others will write the books about this time. Others will offer sophisticated theories to explain the rise and fall of Mr Bush's Reich. Others will no doubt find some quirk or flaw in the American character to explain how anyone as utterly unqualified for high office as George W. Bush ever convinced a single voter to trust the country to his tender care. 

I have a simple explanation for the success of 'Bushisim" in America. It's Thomas Kinkades fault. That's right, the "Painter of Light" almost destroyed the worlds greatest democracy. But Mr Kinkade is merely a harmless hack who  has bamboozled thousands upon thousands of Americans to shell out big bucks for bad art you say. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is that Mr Kinkade aligned himself to some ersatz version of ' Christianity" that flourishes in this country, aligned himself so tightly that any home displaying a Kinkade painting could be reliably counted on to attend an evangelical church, and vote republican up and down the ticket. I believe this phenomenon offers insight into the core of our problem. Our culture has so devalued education that millions can no longer tell the difference between art and mass marketed schlock. Our people are so theologically illiterate that it seems normal to idolize a man made Jesus who demands blood rather than offers mercy. We have so hypnotized the populace with flickering images and dreams of avarice that at least half the people can't tell the difference between a leader and a thief; and that I think as much as anything explains the last eight years.

Tomorrow, we begin to paint a new picture. 

Bouncing Into Graceland

Last night I was doing voice over work on the Tee Vee machine, covering the arrival at Union Station of Mr Obamas kind of silly but kind of cool train trip. Once the Obamas were in their limo we went to tape, so I  grabbed my coat to run outside. I got to the plaza in front of the 'Span building just in time to join a spontaneous crowd which had formed in the bitter cold to cheer and wave as the motorcade drove by.  I've seen plenty of big shots in long black cars in this town, but this one was different. This one carried hope for a nation desperate for leadership. This one carried the promise of change, and some measure of redemption for the suffering of so many for so many years. The crowd cheered and bounced up and down trying to get a better look, and you could begin to feel the change this election has brought. I was struck by the impossibility of a crowd like this forming to cheer  Larry The Cable Guys dim witted cousin George Bush: in eight years I never saw it happen here. But something is new here in Washington. That silver train didn't just deliver a President elect to this town; it brought us the new mayor of Graceland.

What A Wonderful World

"Really, I think one's art goes only as far and as deep as your love goes" Andrew Wyeth

Dubya Gets An Early Start On Retirement

Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.
Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.
The monkey is not considered dangerous.

The Final Frontier

I don't often write about calls we run, but every now and then I feel compelled. We ran an MO the other night, and without violating the guys privacy rights, let me give the gist of his story:

He went to bed about midnight because he was "sleepy". At some point after this he was "made unconscious" by someone or something from outer space. During his "unconscious time", the gentleman believed that the aforementioned person / or entity, applied some "grease" to his "anus region". The fellow was at pains to point out to us the he is "not gay, nor interested in any gay type things". The alleged (I say alleged, because my partner and I politely declined to perform an examination of the "greasy" area) anal grease was still present we were told, though the fellow denied that the intruder, shall we say; intruded any further. Our patient did explain that this has been happening quite often, and felt that the police department was "maybe not taking me seriously". Mr "X' was unable to offer any clue as to the possible origin of the "space invaders" ( my pun), though he did not dispute my conjecture that a space traveler from the planet Astroglide did this to him. My partner suggested some connection with Uranus, while I offered that I was pretty sure we could nail the point of origin down to somewhere in the KY star system.

We transported our patient to a local emergency room,where we suggested he might benefit from a probing examination; though not in a gay way. I suggested that he try sleeping with a guard dog as I do, pointing out that in over 7 years of sharing my bed with my pooch, my naughty place has yet to wake up greasy.

Thought For The Day

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you, 
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

Brownie points if you know the author.

Look Back In Anger.......

Advance Copy Of George Bush's Final Speech From The Oval Office:

My fellow Americanos. Four score and umm, a few Corona's ago, my fore daddy helped me move into this ovalified office. I don't have to tell you it's been a bit of a bumpy ride, or as we say in Texas: a complete cluster fuck. I just wanted to speechify for a second herewith to say: whoops, my bad. I know the whole war plan thing didn't quite turn out like the Winston-Salem Churchill great leader thing that the Dickster told me it would, and I know that this whole real-e-oh -state situation sucks the big kahuna; but I'm pretty sure most of that wasn't really my fault. The truth is that I have been drunk on my ass the last 8 years, so I don't think it's fair to blame a feller for stuff that happened while he was driving the porcelain F-150. Hell, I was fucked up so bad during that whole Katrina thing that Laura locked me in the barn down in Crawford for 4 days, and by the time I came to, a whole bunch of folks were floating tits up down Canal street. And as far as Wall Street goes, hell, I was more interested in dining at the Condi Y, than worrying about which rich shit bag friend of Poppy's was busy ripping off beacoup bucks from his Dow Jones pals. I guess it turns you all took it up the old Hersey highway on that deal..so again my other Americanskis... whoopsie.

Well I guess it's time to concludeify, so let me just say its been an honor being your El Preisdente, and now Laura and I plan to slink back to Dallas and do some serious drinking. Good luck to the Obama dude, God Bless, and hello Jose Curevo!

I Read The News Today Oh Boy

From the Interwebs:

JACKSON, Ohio — Police say an angry 4-year-old Ohio boy grabbed a gun from a closet and shot his baby sitter. Nathan Beavers, 18, was hospitalized Sunday with minor wounds to his arm and side after the shotgun attack. Police say another teen was also injured.
Witnesses told police the child was angry because Beavers accidentally stepped on his foot. Beavers was watching the child at a mobile home in Jackson with several other teenagers and several other children.

With this in mind, here are some more headlines we are likley to see:

Five Year Old Guns Down Sister After She Calls Him "Poopy Head".

Toddler Opens Fire After Mom Sends Him To "Time Out".

Pre Schooler Defends Shooting Rampage: " Big Purple Dinosour Told Me To Kill".

Kindergarten Killer Blows Away Mall Santa: "He Didn't Bring Me A Wi".

Dick Cheney Shoot Another Guy In The Face " Ah Fuck 'Em".

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

From Salon:

Another President Bush?

Perhaps so, says former President George H.W. Bush, who has already seen one son, George W., serve in the Oval Office. The nation's 41st president said Sunday that he would like to see a second son, Jeb, be president one day.

Jeb Bush is the current president's younger brother and a former popular governor of Florida. He is mulling a run for Senate seat being vacated by Sen. Mel Martinez, R-Fla.

Asked in a broadcast interview about Jeb Bush's consideration of the Senate seat, Bush 41 said: "I'd like to see him run. I'd like to see him be president someday."

When asked if he was serious, he said: "Or maybe senator. Whatever. Yes, I would. I mean, right now is probably a bad time, because we've had enough Bushes in there. But no, I would. And I think he's as qualified and able as anyone I know on the political scene. Now, you've got to discount that. He's my son."

The Secret History Of Dogs (Happy New Year)

I was walking with my dog Kennedy the other day, when we heard the faint sound of a child crying from the window of a house we were passing. Kennedy reacted like he always does when he sees children, by beginning to whimper  and wanting to investigate. My big fella loves little kids, and we have figured out that before we got him as a rescue dog , he must have been around children. I don't think I am being anthropomorphic when I say that I can see sadness and loss in his eyes when he hears a child's cry. Dog, cats, all God's creation I think; are capable of love and therefore grief and longing. My friend Kennedy speaks in his own language, has his own history, and contains his own wonderful secrets. My hope  for this new year is that I remember more often to listen to all those voices around me that speak more quietly than my own. The streets and pathways outside my door are filled with a thousand secret stories, just waiting to be read. And perhaps among the dogs and flowers lies the beginning of wisdom.

Happy New Year from Kennedy and me.