Advance Copy Of George Bush's Final Speech From The Oval Office:
My fellow Americanos. Four score and umm, a few Corona's ago, my fore daddy helped me move into this ovalified office. I don't have to tell you it's been a bit of a bumpy ride, or as we say in Texas: a complete cluster fuck. I just wanted to speechify for a second herewith to say: whoops, my bad. I know the whole war plan thing didn't quite turn out like the Winston-Salem Churchill great leader thing that the Dickster told me it would, and I know that this whole real-e-oh -state situation sucks the big kahuna; but I'm pretty sure most of that wasn't really my fault. The truth is that I have been drunk on my ass the last 8 years, so I don't think it's fair to blame a feller for stuff that happened while he was driving the porcelain F-150. Hell, I was fucked up so bad during that whole Katrina thing that Laura locked me in the barn down in Crawford for 4 days, and by the time I came to, a whole bunch of folks were floating tits up down Canal street. And as far as Wall Street goes, hell, I was more interested in dining at the Condi Y, than worrying about which rich shit bag friend of Poppy's was busy ripping off beacoup bucks from his Dow Jones pals. I guess it turns you all took it up the old Hersey highway on that deal..so again my other Americanskis... whoopsie.
My fellow Americanos. Four score and umm, a few Corona's ago, my fore daddy helped me move into this ovalified office. I don't have to tell you it's been a bit of a bumpy ride, or as we say in Texas: a complete cluster fuck. I just wanted to speechify for a second herewith to say: whoops, my bad. I know the whole war plan thing didn't quite turn out like the Winston-Salem Churchill great leader thing that the Dickster told me it would, and I know that this whole real-e-oh -state situation sucks the big kahuna; but I'm pretty sure most of that wasn't really my fault. The truth is that I have been drunk on my ass the last 8 years, so I don't think it's fair to blame a feller for stuff that happened while he was driving the porcelain F-150. Hell, I was fucked up so bad during that whole Katrina thing that Laura locked me in the barn down in Crawford for 4 days, and by the time I came to, a whole bunch of folks were floating tits up down Canal street. And as far as Wall Street goes, hell, I was more interested in dining at the Condi Y, than worrying about which rich shit bag friend of Poppy's was busy ripping off beacoup bucks from his Dow Jones pals. I guess it turns you all took it up the old Hersey highway on that deal..so again my other Americanskis... whoopsie.
Well I guess it's time to concludeify, so let me just say its been an honor being your El Preisdente, and now Laura and I plan to slink back to Dallas and do some serious drinking. Good luck to the Obama dude, God Bless, and hello Jose Curevo!
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