Saturday, October 4, 2008


From The Department of You Can't Make This Shit Up:

This story on the wires today:


Sen. John McCain's senior foreign policy adviser cites a steamy romance 50 years ago with a Brazilian babe among the things that illustrate McCain's decades-long interest in Latin America.
Speaking at an Americas Conference panel discussion Friday on the next U.S. president's Latin American policy, McCain adviser Richard Fontaine started out by mentioning an old Brazilian flame of McCain's, who recently emerged in the press.
''Talking a little about his personal experience, he was famously born in Panama and has traveled all over the hemisphere for many years.'' Fontaine said. "In fact, I saw, I guess it was last week, that his old girlfriend in Brazil has been found from his early days when he was in the Navy and was interviewed. She's a somewhat older woman now than she was then, but it sorta speaks to the long experience he has had in the region -- in the most positive terms.''
Fontaine was referring to former model Maria Gracinda Teixeira de Jesus, who recently gave an interview to O Globo saying the former sailor was quite the kisser. According to McCain's memoirs, "Faith of My Fathers," they met in 1957, when his ship, the USS Hunt, docked in Brazil.
''I called him John but also my darling and my sweet coconut,'' she said. "He was a great kisser. I liked it so much that I bought a book to learn how to kiss myself.''

Well first of all honey, if coconuts gets his greasy little fingers near the nuke button, you better hope that book has a chapter on how to kiss your sweet ass goodbye. And secondly, the fact that John Boi had some Latin tail back in the day no more makes him an expert on policy in South America than does the fact that I used to bang my girlfriend in the backseat of a Chevy make me ready to run General Motors.

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