Update From JesusLand

I'm down here in South Carolina, and news is always a bit sketchy in Jesus City, but it seems that John McDipshit just picked Elaine to be his VP. Can that be right? Who is he gonna get for Sec Def, the Soup Nazi? George??

Update: It turns out that McFuckster did NOT pick Elaine, the actual pick is the Church Lady from Fishbait Alaska who seems to be qualified mostly because she can take cumshots for Jesus and make them into soldiers, and enjoys Moose Meat...which could be some sort of dirty GILF joke that I just don't get. I guess this lunch lady with a sniper scope is a wet dream come true to Jimmy Dobson and his ilk of low life jerk off artists, but the rest of the world is left to refrain the immortal words of Gandhi: Are you people FUCKING NUTS?????????????

Carolina On My Mind

Heading to the condo early Friday, back late Monday. May not post until next week, so have a good labor day and organize for Obama!

Somewhere Even George Wallace Is Shaking His Head In Disgust

McCain ad questioned as word 'HANG' appears over image of Barack Obama

A McCain ad aired on Fox News channel with the words "HANG" in the background along with a photograph of Barack Obama has sparked outrage after being noticed by a reporter at a local Fox television affiliate.

The words "HIGHER TAXES" are transposed on an image of Obama standing in front of a crowd. The background is blurred at the edges so that the words from Obama's signature theme -- change -- has been cut down to the word "HANG." The shot appears for about a second. 



Asked about the image, the McCain camp said, "We're not even validating such an outrageous and preposterous claim with a comment."

Strikingly, the image of Obama with the word hang in the background is blurred far more heavily on the side where the C would have been, suggesting the decision was intentional. The company that produced the ad refused to comment when the local Fox affiliate inquired.

Not everyone is buying the claim the transposition is deliberate. Even at the liberal blog Daily Kos, an informal poll indicated 76 percent thought the image was deliberate, with 23 percent saying it was a coincidence.

"Is this a coincidence?" one diarist wrote. "People spend hours and hours editing political ads, I really don't see how this could go unnoticed by the editors. Maybe they saw it and thought it wasn't noticeable or maybe they thought it wasn't important."

EZ DIY Press Kit

Hey kids, you too can be a junior press spokesbot for John McCain. It's easy and fun! What's that boys and girls? You say you don't know anything about public relations, politics, or the positions of Senator McNuuty? No worries children, all you need is the handy dandy amazing one size fits all McCain decoder ring and press kit answer sheet.

Here's how it works:

Say some annoying liberal reporter asks how many homes John Boi owns. Spin the dial on yer neat-o ring and find the answer:

John McCain only had one room in Hanoi.

See how this works? Here's more:

Is it true that Johnny called his wife a "stupid cunt" in public?

John McCain dreamed of having a wife to call a" stupid cunt "for five years in his one room cell in Hanoi. Stick that in your ear and smoke it Mr & Mrs Liberal New York Times assholes.

Why is Senator McCain's campaign run by lobbyists?

John McCain didn't have anyone lobbying for a bigger room to dream in when he spent five years as a POW now did he Mr Liberal reporter shitheel?

Why did John McCain oppose the MLK holiday for so many years?

They didn't have any MLK holidays in Hanoi now did they you stupid commie cunt?

See how easy it is kids? And when John McNasty wins this November you can take the act to the White House press room!

Just a veepster for your love.......

I notice FuckWad has some ads up saying that the BO man should have picked the Hillster for the Veep slot. Of course Johnny McAsswipe is just trying to stir trouble, but I think it would be more than fair to ask the question:

Hey John Boy, if you like her so much why don't you make her your VP?

Slouching Toward Denver

As we stumble into a cable convention coverage overdose: here is a semi insiders guide to watching the chattering classes on the Tee Vee Machine:

1. In reality, Wolf Blitzer is  a four foot six inch tall  ferret made to perform 18 hours a day for cheese and sunflower seeds.

2. Everyone else at CNN is gay. Really. I mean really fucking gay. Including Larry Queen.

3.  Al Gore is a 3D hologram controlled by Ed Asner  and Ed Beggly Jr. from the basement of an"eco- friendly" coffee shop in La Jolla.

4. Charlie Gibson is 87 years old and is rolled onto the set in a shopping cart. The only thing that keeps him awake on the air is an IV drip of epinephrine.

5. Mitt Romney in real "life", is a 7 foot tall vampire, and was the original inspiration for the fictional blood sucker Lessat. I'm not kidding.  Ask Ann Rice. 

7.  Chris Matthew's never wears pants on the set. Nine floor directors have quit since March, when Chris calls them over during commercial breaks to"check out this hardball ".

8. The entire "Fox News" team are evil robots from another planet. Oh sure they'll deny it. What do you expect them to say? But they are. All of them. They never eat, sleep, or show any human emotion. Watch them closely. You'll see.

9. Calling John McCain a puppet is NOT a political metaphor. It's literally true. Its the same guy inside the McCain suit that does Oscar on Sesame Street.

10. Joe Biden will be drunk the whole time and five to one he says something in his speech about having Katie Couric sit on his face. The guy is  a fucking beast with his load on.

Oh it's cracking up Jerry......

In northern Greenland, a part of the Arctic that had seemed immune from global warming, new satellite images show a growing giant crack and an 11-square-mile chunk of ice hemorrhaging off a major glacier, scientists said Thursday.

That has led the university professor who spotted the wounds in the massive Petermann glacier to predict disintegration of a major portion of the Northern Hemisphere's largest floating glacier within the year.

The crack is 7 miles long and about half a mile wide. It is about half the width of the 500-square-mile floating part of the glacier. Other smaller fractures can be seen in images of the ice tongue, a long narrow sliver of the glacier.

"The pictures speak for themselves," said Jason Box, a glacier expert at the Byrd Polar Research Center at Ohio State University who spotted the changes while studying new satellite images.

"This crack is moving, and moving closer and closer to the front. It's just a matter of time till a much larger piece is going to break off."

"Elaine, do you have any idea what happens to a butter-based frosting after sitting 60 years in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed."