Tough Shit

Senator Jim Bunning (Scumbag Kentucky) muttered the words " tough shit” on the floor of the US Senate last night during debate over his objection to extending unemployment benefits for another 30 days. We should give the old jock credit where credit is due: the crazy bastard has neatly summed up the Republicans overall attitude to the struggles of the American middle class... namely: " You're on you own. And fuck you anyway".



In an attempt to be helpful, I offer the following handy dandy guide to the R's position on several other important issues:


1. You're losing your house to foreclosure. R's response: " Blow me".


2. You're kid is sick and you don't have insurance. " Boo fucking hoo asshole".


3. Your son or daughter was killed in Iraq. " Shit happens.."


4. You're an unwed mother with no income.  " Suck dick next time".


5. You're in a stall at the airport next to Larry Craig. " Blow me".


To be even more helpful, let me offer a short "field guide" to help you ID some of the Republicans you may see on the Tee Vee making the above points.


Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY): Short white guy with look on his face like he has a 12 inch spiked electric dildo up his ass. (The KY after his name is the lube not the state.)


Senator David Vitter (R-LA) Tall white guy in a diaper with a New Orleans hooker sitting on his face. Really. I am not making this shit up. Honest.


Senator John Ensign (R-NV) White haired white guy with a twat hair stuck between his two front teeth. His folks will pay for the dental cleaning and tip his mistress 65K. Makes Mark Sanford look like Mary Poppins.


Minority Leader in the House John Boehner (R-OH). Look, the guys name is Boner. B O N E R. I don't care how he says it. It's pronounced boner. As in dick. As in penis. As in fuckstick. 'Nuff said.


Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) So crazy even John Ensign wouldn't fuck her. That's saying something.


Last but very much least we come to Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY). Former ball player. One school of though thinks he wore his jock too tight. Another holds that he got hit the head several hundred times by line drives because he was too stupid to duck. This guy is so bad that about all we can say is that he makes the rest of these bozos look like Jefferson and Lincoln. And oh..If you think my remarks are unfair..... Tough shit.

Pulled Southward

She's heading south

She says she doesn't recongnize the face in the glass

So next week she'll leave, but I can follow, I can make my way

southward

Perhaps I can grow old in an undershirt

and play checkers and smoke cigars in a park

like the Cuban gentlemen do

I can squint in the afternoon sun

and drive past the shacks and pines and debris

of other peoples small dramas

Perhaps I can see things clearly

Perhaps...

There has been too little recognition,

too many departures in my time

Perhaps I can follow and wander in the heat amid the vines and beaches

No Jew I, no longer Christian, just a northern boy

pulled southward

The City Of Art and Good Intentions

The planes appear over your left shoulder

suddenly

as if by magic

Great beasts following the river, banking left

revealing

The city of lies and white marble at sunset

Unwrapped,  unbroken,

Full of art, and dreams of art,

and youth always on the make

Lots of fucking in this town:. lots of shady promises,

lots of empty heroes caught in black and white

The planes suprise me everytime I follow the river

I should be used to them by now, I should be used to this place

But I keep thinking it will all get better...

the stones are so pretty at sunset.

The State Of Dis Union

Somewhere in an alternate universe on an alternate TV channel...



Madam Speaker, Mr. Vice President, My Fellow Americans, and you bitches on the Supreme Court. Yes I mean you Alito. The state of our union is fucked up. I don't have to tell any of you out there in Tee Vee land that, most of you are watching this on the flat screen over the hot dog machine at the 7-11 where you work a third job to try and pay the doctor bill from grandmas anal fissure surgery last summer. So have a big gulp on the house (hey Southland Corp didn’t contribute shit to me last year), and listen up people: it's time for some shit to go down!



First up: I'm gonna nationalize the banks. Those greedy motherfuckers won't be happy until all of us are living in a double wide that we owe 400 large on for 90 years at 29% interest. But I tell you what. If any of you whores in here don't like it I'll give you a choice. we can either take 'em over and start writing fair deals to Americans... or instead of nationalizing we can analize Wall Street. Line 'em up bend em over, and let every foreclosed bastard step up and "deliver some interest due". So which side of that transaction do you fuckers want to be on?



Next: Afpakiraquistan. I'm giving the Saudi's 72 hours to hand over Bin Laden. That's right, the fucking Saudi's. Don't even try to tell me you cunts don't know where he is. If I don't get a FedEx with a set of OBL balls in it in 3 days.. I'm gonna make a quick call to my posse at Cheyenne mountain. And guess what...20 minutes later Mecca is a big ass sheet of glass. You think I'm playing? Check this out:  this morning at about o dark thirty, I ordered federal agents to round up Dick Cheney, Glen Beck, Ann Coulter, and Karl Rove among others on charges of Treason. We also picked up Harry Reid for being a pussy, and Rachael Maddow 'cause I want to find out if she's really queer.... anyhow they are all currently on their way to a little 'fun in the sun' in Gitmo.... so figure it out my tent headed friends... no more fucking around.. hand over the big boy or I'm gonna bust a thermonuclear cap in your Islamic ass.



Hey Wilson I thought I told you shut the fuck up last time... you want me to send the video of you in the cheerleader costume to your fucking wife ..I didn’t think so holmes.......



At this point the signal went snowy and my set returned to Nympo Snowboarders Extreme Makeover CSI or whatever NBC is running at 10 PM these days.....