Friday, July 10, 2009

DIY Republican Press Conference Mad Libs


Good Morning / Afternoon / Evenning / Whatever the fuck time it is....

I would like to ______________ ( 1. apologize, 2. deny, 3. insist ) that I ___________ ( 1. never was, 2. always was, 3. stopped) having ___________ ( 1. sex with, 2. anal sex with, 3. money transferred to ) my __________ (1. mistress, 2. girlfriends mothers next door neighbor, 3. pastors wife).

It has never been my policy or practice to _______________ ( 1. cum on someone’s clothing, waste taxpayer money on weak booze and bad drugs, 3. admit to criminal wrong doing).

I intend to____________ (1. fight these charges, 2. flee the country, 3. attempt to remove the evidence with dry cleaning fluid.).

My accusers are __________ (1. members of the elite media, 2. Drunk assholes, 3. a bunch of know it all motherfuckers who can kiss my dick).

Thank you and may God bless America.

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