The Tea party Express road show rolled into Bug light Nevada this past Saturday to the cheers of a crowd estimated to number in the dozens. First off the bus was Sister Sarah Palin who delighted the crowd with a detailed description of her favorite sex toys and masturbation fantasies. Ooops, I'm sorry that was a typo. No Sarah mostly whooped and hollered about how much she hates black people. And that Harry Reid makes her twat itch or something. Next up were some” singers and “dancers”, who frankly made me ashamed to be a white person. Let me put it this way: if that shit was dancing; then Wolf Blitzer is the worlds most interesting man. And tallest. Jesus K. Christ on a stick those fuckers were lame. I loved how they would throw in lines like: "No health care reform" in between the chorus of " We're the Tea Party Express and we're rockin' through your town..". Yea they were rockin all right. They rocked so hard they made "Up With People" look like Led Zeppelin. Fuck me.
Next up was 80's semi celeb Victoria Jackson. I remember her from Saturday Night Live as the kind of waitress type girl you would fuck if you were drunk enough.... sort of like the Geico chick...(15 minutes could save you a case of blue balls). These days Ms. Jackson is older, heavier, less amusing, and a whole lot more crazy. This bitch ate the whole box of crazy flakes... hell she ate the whole fucking case. She "led" the "crowd" in a sing-along of some song she wrote about Obama is a commie... la la la..doo lang doo lang doo lang... doo wop diddy dum diddy dee. YIKES! At least Ann Coulter doesn't try to sing.
The afternoon wrapped up with some minor speakers (when Victoria Jackson is your "A" list celeb, you got trouble). My favorite among the under card Bag heads was the dude in an American flag shirt running for Senate yelling about what a brothel full of whores DC was. Well flag boy, you might want to check in with Dave Vitter on that one. Or even John Boy Ensign right there in Nevada. Plus, do you really think wearing a shirt made from Old Glory will earn you votes? If I wore a shirt with a picture of my dick on it would it help me get laid? (Trust me. it wouldn't) ..Flags and chants of USA are not patriotism my dear bag breath brethren. Although on the topic of uniforms and such, I think Sarah would look right at home in a short skirt SS outfit. Of course then Jesse James would try to fuck her, and maybe Sandra Bullock would get pissed and challenge her to a nude mud wrestling match which Glen Beck could promote and stage right there in Sea Hunt Nevada on pay per view!
Well my hemorrhoids are starting to hurt (Thanks for nothing Harry Reid) so I'm gonna wrap up, plus I have a great idea for an opening act for the wrestling match. Anybody got a number for Up With People?
3 comments:
This is what happens when you have too many whitecastle munchies? Since their inception the Teaparty crowd (not a movement since they do have the numbers or clout) have been “haters not debaters”. In my opinion this is what the small portions of the republican party of “birthers, baggers and blowhards” have brought you. They are good at “Follow the Leader” of their dullard leaders, they listen to Beck, Hedgecock, Hannity, O’Reilly, Rush and Savage and the rest of the Blowhards. Are you surprise at what they do when you know what they think? The world is complicated and most republicans (Hamiliton, Lincoln, Roosevelt) believe that we should use government a little to increase social mobility, now its about dancing around the claim of government is the problem. The sainted Reagan passed the biggest tax increase in American history and as a result federal employment increased, but facts are lost when mired in mysticism and superstition. Although some republicans are trying to distant themselves from this fringe most of them are just going along and fanning the flames. Lets face it the Republicans had 8 years to deal with health care, immigration and financial oversight and governance and they failed. They could not even win one of the two wars they started, the body bags are still coming in. The Republicans wanted to give Obama his Waterloo defeat over healthcare but instead they gave themselves their own Waterloo defeat by not participating in the debate of ideas and by becoming the party of obstructionist. But they now claim they have changed, come on, what sucker is going to believe that?
That's about right! Oops, wrong choice of words. Bu I do think the next election is in the bag, shouldn't say that either. Maybe we should all try to get along, fuck, that's taken too, shit, I give up...
Montana, very we'll said.
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