10. I was holed up in a Howard Johnson's Motel in Trenton with a bad case of jock itch.
9. I was on a secret NASA mission to Uranus.
8. I was with Dorothy and the Tin man in Oz.
7. I was in line at the DMV.
6. I have no idea where I've been, last thing I remember is doing shots at the airport bar with a hooker named Trixie.
5. I was here all the time, damn it must be that new invisible suit I was wearing...
4. I was detained by the CIA at an undisclosed location.
3. I was banging the shit out of my girlfriend in Argentina... nah just kidding .... Psych!
2. Missing? What do you mean? What day is it? Oh shit where did this blood come from?
1. I was in the bathroom.
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