Rock& Roll Whoppers

More Rock & Roll Stories: It was great running into my old pal Steve Kostan in the Dee last week. I haven't seen Steve for years, but seeing him triggered a couple of memories: Once we were driving to a charity basketball gig in some out of the way place when we were both jocking at the old WABX. We were pretty lost and pretty late so we pulled into a 7-11 to ask for directions. As we walked through the door we saw a long line waiting at the counter. Since time was of the essence, Steve immediately announced in a loud voice: " We are DJ's and we need directions". .." He may as well have said " We are from the planet Zontar and we are here to give free rectal probes" if one were to judge based on the puzzled looks we got. We teach junior rescue rangers in the fire department how to use a 'command voice' in an emergency, but nobody has ever done a better job of getting a room to shut the fuck up than Steve did that night.

I met Steve in college at WMU in Kalamazoo, where for a time we both lived off campus in a house with 9 other guys. Steve had a room upstairs, I had a cot next to the washing machine in the basement...and neither of us had any money, so we had to get creative when it came to the pursuit of women. I marvel to this day at the pure genius of the stratagem that Steve came up with: We would go up to the Burger King about 1:30 in the morning when the girls were stopping for a bite after drinking all night in the bars. This was brilliant for three main reasons:

1. The ladies were already drunk.
2. We didn't have to buy them anything more expensive than an order of fries.
3. If we didn't get laid we at least got something to eat.

A year or two later Steve helped me get my first gig at 'ABX, and my very first night on the air a woman named PJ that was totally out of my league and a stone cold drop dead stunner, just dropped by the studio to " hang out". I realized real quick that station 'X' was a thousand times better than Burger King, and being a radio star had a more powerful effect than springing for a Cheese Whopper. Thanks twice Steve, and it was good to see you again.