Watching the news recently, it seemed a good idea to review my simple rules of political/ ecclesiastical behavior:
1. Don't spend the taxpayers( congregations) money on pussy, golf, or plumbing fixtures for your office.
2. Never email, text, write, call, or send smoke signals to your girlfriend/boyfriend/hooker/intern/Congressional Page/or pet goat on an official phone, blackberry, envelope or campfire.
3. Never be in a room with a camera if:
a) Your pants are off.
b.) Your drunk is on.
4. Do not reach under the bathroom stall divider. Ever. Not just in airports. Period.
5. Do not counsel anyone while naked. Particularly gay drug dealers.
6. While speaking on the phone to sexy female staffers, keep the door open and both hands on the receiver. Trust me on this one.
7. If you sploggie someones dress, be a sport. Insist on taking it to the dry cleaners yourself.
8. "Holy Water" is not a mouthwash. Everyone knows that by now.
9. Your driver is there to drive your car. Not ride your wife.
10. The Road to the White House ( or Heaven) is paved with cold showers. Lots of them.
1. Don't spend the taxpayers( congregations) money on pussy, golf, or plumbing fixtures for your office.
2. Never email, text, write, call, or send smoke signals to your girlfriend/boyfriend/hooker/intern/Congressional Page/or pet goat on an official phone, blackberry, envelope or campfire.
3. Never be in a room with a camera if:
a) Your pants are off.
b.) Your drunk is on.
4. Do not reach under the bathroom stall divider. Ever. Not just in airports. Period.
5. Do not counsel anyone while naked. Particularly gay drug dealers.
6. While speaking on the phone to sexy female staffers, keep the door open and both hands on the receiver. Trust me on this one.
7. If you sploggie someones dress, be a sport. Insist on taking it to the dry cleaners yourself.
8. "Holy Water" is not a mouthwash. Everyone knows that by now.
9. Your driver is there to drive your car. Not ride your wife.
10. The Road to the White House ( or Heaven) is paved with cold showers. Lots of them.
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