While cleaning out my closet, I found my old Acme 9000 Crystal Ball Kit. So I figured, why not dust the thing off, and fire it up. Here is a look ahead:
George W. Bush: 2018: Suffers 10th straight losing season as manager of Waco Texas AAA baseball team "Waco Birdbrains". Fans demand the team fire him.
Joe Lieberman: After landslide defeat in 2010 re-election bid, Joe opens a small kosher massage parlor and pastry shop in Encino. Names shop "Joe's Ho Ho's"
Brian Williams: Forced to resign from NBC News in 2009 after being overheard on an open mic calling Barack Obama " sweet, dark and delicious...", Williams goes on to a successful career as a the understudy to the green witch in the touring company of "Wicked".
Sarah Palin: After an internet lesbian nazi video surfaces in 2011, Palin drops from sight. A team of reporters from the BBC track her down in 2016 living on a turkey farm with her 'partner' Inga.
John McCain: Cryogenically frozen in 2010 in the hopes that someday science will find a cure for baldness.
Wolf Blitzer: Died of 'acute constipation' in 2017.
OJ Simpson: Still in jail.
Dick Cheney: Last seen in 2009 disguised as a Polish dockworker boarding a tramp steamer in Baltimore. Rumors persist that Cheney has set up a Col. Kurtz style compound in a South American jungle.
Hillary Clinton: Elected first woman president of moon colony in 2014.
James Dobson: Undergoes sex change operation in 2013. Changes name to Jane Dobson, and tells reporters they can just " focus on this you bitches" while flashing surgically created vagina.
Karl Rove: Dies in bizarre dildo accident in 2015. Details remain sketchy.
Barack Obama: 2017: First black president to be added to Mount Rushmore.
No comments:
Post a Comment