The other day we were at K-MART for some 'high end' shopping, and right smack doodley dab in the front aisle was a life size Jason robot with a plastic swing blade swinging up and down in his right hand. As I stood in line waiting to buy my Jacyln Smith authentic rubberized door mat* I noticed several ADULTS stop by the Jason display to touch the plastic knife blade... checking to see if it was real. What in the name of Holy Jumping Fucking Jesus were these dumb shits thinking: " Hmm I wonder if K-MART uses real knifes in the Halloween display.. that would be kind of cool...". Yuh think so Sparky?? I imagine the K-MART lawyer making a call something like this: " You what? A real fucking knife...?? Five amputations??? Did you at least put up a warning sign: Caution crazy as shit store manager thought it would be fun to use real razor sharps knifes in the display??? Argggggggggg!"
The whole thing served as yet another reminder that we have some seriously dumb motherfuckers walking around.
Elsewhere in the store I noticed an entire clearance rack of votive style candles with pictures of Jesus on sale for a buck each. Now I have not seriously thought Jesus would save my soul since I was about 17, but it sure is nice to see the Lord can save a feller some money. I had to wonder though: does this sale rack of discount saviors mean a certain lack of ..err fervor has crept into our fine Christian zip code? If sales of Jesus Style Scented Holiday Family Aroma Therapy (made in China) Stop The God-Damn Gays From Marrying Candles are down....... does this not mean that evil is on the rise? Are we praying hard enough, is there too much interweb butt based sex type stuff going on in our towns nether regions? I believe I have spotted what we scientists** like to call a 'leading indicator' of moral decline. So friends let me warn you... that we have trouble, right here in G -Burg city.. with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'C' and that stands for candles. So be a sport: stop looking at your favorite interknob site: " "Big Ass Lesbo NAZI Cheerleaders In Jail" and spend a buck. You might just be staving off Armageddon.
Speaking of NAZI whores, when in the fuck is somebody gonna give that mumbling stuttering prick Joe
Lieberman the parliamentary slap down he deserves. The latest from this senile fuck is that he thinks he will vote with the R's to prevent an up or down vote on heath care reform in the Senate. Really Joe? I'm surprised you were able to take the big Insurance Company dick out of your mouth long enough to call Harry Reid with the news. And this guy is still the Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee? Holy Fucking Double Dong Douche Bag Batman! I think it's high time we reassign Ol'Joe to a committee more in keeping with his... err skills. How about 'The Senate Select Sub Committee On Reach Under Handjobs... ..what?... Oh Larry Craig's got that one .. Joint Committee on Silly Fucks In Diapers with Hookers... huh? Dandy Dave Vitters got it you say... ..Hmmm ... Wait wait ..I know: Maybe Harry can send Joe on a fact finding mission somewhere.... like checking into the safety of in store Halloween displays.. ....
(*) Kind of a bring down... in the 70's boys used to er..picture Ms Smith while they umm er.. prepared for bed, now we just use her products to wipe our shoes...
(**) I drove past a Holiday Inn Express..which makes me closer to Big Al Einstein than any of those morons on cable Tee Vee expounding on their ideas about how men and dinosaurs co- existed, thus making the Flintstones the first doc-u-drama.
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